The 12 Steps For Car Haters, by Katrina Sealey
1. We admit that we are powerless over our hatred for cars. Our hatred for the automobile has become unmanageable.
2. We have come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could either stop us from blowing up an SUV sales lot or give us the courage to blow it up and face the consequences.
3. We made a decision to turn our will and lives over to this yen/yang dichotomy and roll with whatever “flow” comes along; this “flow” is how we define our god within.
4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory to decide whether or not we are called by god to blow up an SUV sales lot.
5. We admitted to god, to ourselves and to another human being to the exact degree with which we hate cars.
6. We are entirely ready to develop more courage, if needed.
7. We humbly ask forgiveness for those times when no one is at the airport to pick us up, and we were forced to the Hertz counter for a rental.
8. We made a list of all the persons who drive cars we feel like blowing up.
9. We made direct amends to those who drive “fresh off the lot” cars that we “keyed,” and we simultaneously made plans to blow up those cars at a later date.
10. We continue to take inventory of the gas guzzlers in the neighborhood in which we live, and we placed the inventory in a folder labeled “think globally, act locally” for ongoing cogitation.
11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our knowledge of god and how she would have us deal with those who drive habitually.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others with a militant zeal with a sole intent of converting as many followers as possible.
WITH ALL OF THAT HAVING BEEN SAID, I LIKE TO BE A PASSENGER IN A CAR----SOMETIMES. I LIKE LONG DRIVES THROUGH ANY MOUNTAINS IN THE FALL, PARTICULARLY, IN A COVERTABLE, WITH MY HAIR BLOWING IN THE WIND. THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND, IS BLOWING IN THE WIND.
